Going to Le Mans – Wednesday
Woke up Wednesday about 0630 and went to work. Got bored at work as I wanted to go and pack, so I left an hour early. Eventually got home and Jaye was waiting for me. Packed everything up and Skeggs and Deborah arrived. Packed the laguna and we eventually left 1/2 hour late (that’s good for me). Deborah was thirsty so I got a bottle of wine out the fridge and that was consumed in the car on the way down. I don’t recommend drinking and driving as some can spill.
Got to dover just in time for the 2345 ferry, so it was time to start proper drinking. I helped deborah finish the wine off, drove onto the boat and handed the keys over to Jaye. Skeggs and I then started our way through and pack of Guinness. Back to the car, to begin the drive down to Le Mans. I carried on drinking throughout the night whilst some people were cheating by sleeping.
Thursday at Le Mans
We eventually go the Houx Annexe site at about 7am, still drinking Guinness. Skeggs had a plan; he had purchased some flash bangers to give everyone a wake up call. After a few were let off no one appeared. One guy who was camping about 100m away in another group came over to complain but we denied any use of bangers. The 1st person to appear was Raj and then slowly everyone else started appearing. We noticed that the flagpole has the welsh flag 1st and then the england flag, so it was time to swap that around. It must have taken about an hour for the Carlimits team to notice. They weren’t happy about taking it down and changing it, but they had to change it over. The beer was cold so was the pool, so it was a perfect combination. More people started arriving, so the initiation was to be dumped in the pool. The day flowed into the night and we went and say some of the final qualifying.
As we needed wood for the fire, Jaye took my car and went with Walshy to borrow the chop blocks they use to hold the barriers in place. They borrowed about 3/4 of the pile. don’t blame us if the race starts late. With no sleep since the previous day, I thought 44 hours of being awake and 29 hours of drinking, it was time to call it day and went to bed at 0230 Friday morning. Off to shower before bed as there were no queues.
Friday at Le Mans
I woke up at 0630 friday morning after a full 4 hours sleep. I found Mr Dower, Nick Duce and others drinking beer by the camp fire. I tried to speak but couldn’t so I was handed a beer to clear my head. Friday continued much as Thursday with more people arriving and initiation ceremony. A few of us went up to the pits to have a look around at not a lot. Back to the camp site for more drinks and fun with the pool. Jez and i started the beer wall after it had been knocked down several times. We were trying to think of words to put on it, so i came up with c**ted. As we were on a corner of the entrance road, we were all armed with super soakers and a hosepipe and soaked anyone who walked or drove past. There were only 2 incidents. one bloke in a blinged up ML320 reversed back up and complained that we ruined his stereo. Then there was another guy in a blue 360 who got out and said did we think it was funny that we got a little bit of water on the dash. Of course we did. People were getting used to what we were doing, so they all closed their windows. Plan b kicked in – to open their door and cool them down. Eventually people got the hang of it and we had to give up on that fun.
It was time to head down to the roundabout. We brought our super soakers and a large bin of water so we could refill them. Again, anyone who went past got a soaking. Dower was stopping all cars and telling them to get 4000 revs and drop the clutch, although most people didn’t understand him. There was an Ultima that turned up for some roundabout action, but he broke down. He had to be pushed away. There was also a truck driver who got pissed off and called the police, but nothing turned up
After the roundabout, it was time for the funfair. A load of headed over there and 1st up was the karting. During the 1st session, there was not much damage, apart from Walshy at the back of the pack decided to use the four cars in front as a stopping aid, throwing Kristy out of the kart. After one go, it was decided there was not enough damage done, so we went on again. Walshy decided to take Skeggs out on a corner, so there they were, more a less facing each other, so i had the choice of going round them or smacking straight into them, guess what i chose. I came out of the kart a few feet and then landed back into seat but caught my arse on the edge and there is a nice large bruise there now.
Next ride was the circle of fun. You could either hold on of just have a pile up in the middle. Obviously we all piled into the middle and I damaged my ribs after Walshy came flying onto me. Deborah was the only sensible one who held on for dear life. Next up was a quick drink stop at the bar to top ourselves up. Next challenge was to win a thong, but we all failed. The next task was the fun house. This consisted of stupid barriers to get through etc and Damian managed to steal one of the punch bags and throw it over the edge when we were 2 floors up. Rawr was too much of a pussy to go and get it, so someone else nicked it. Walshy grazed his shoulder just after the 30mph conveyer belt as everyone piled on top of him. I went down on my arse, legs 1st and piled into him. The final ride for the night was something that spun you round upside etc. It was fun apart from the barrier crushing my ribs that already hurt and now the bruise on my inside leg.
We needed more wood for the fire and no one could drive, so Walshy, Alun Rowe and I decided to go back to the chop block area. However, we had Thorney’s go ped and two dustbins. Walshy got one leg into the bin and then i did. We started going, but we soon stopped before we were spread over several cars. Walshy went off on his own, this time with both legs in the bin. to exit the camp site, there was a small ditch and Walshy forget about it and went tumbling off. We got to the wood and then couldn’t get the two bins apart. I had noticed a wheelie bin, so i got on the go ped and went and got it by dragging it behind me. We had to fill the bins up quickly and leg it as security was watching us. I got one bin full of wood and put it on the go ped. I then sat on it and travelled back to camp – about a mile – was funny go past the different security guards.
After we got back, Nick wanted a go on the go ped, so off he went armed with his super soaker looking for trouble. He managed to nearly empty the fuel and oil. Not sure if thorney made it back to his camp site.
To conclude the evening, Dower fell asleep, so it was decided to place a flash banger several feet behind him and it kind of woke him up in a cloud of smoke. Off to bed at around 0430. Just before bedtime there were a few urinating incidents, which won’t be named. So a 22 hour day of being awake and drinking the same length of time. Time for a shower before bed again
Saturday at Le Mans
Woke up at around 0830, a fantastic 4 hours sleep. Can’t really remember how the day started, but in pictures it was the start of the race. saw about 4 laps and decided it was too hot, so back to camp to jump in the pool and some beer. As we wanted lunch, Deborah and I decided to do a McD’s run. However, it was 2 1/2 hours before the race start and everyone was queuing to get it. It must have taken us 2 hours to go about 2 miles as a lot of roads were closed off. Dinner was going to be later tonight, so Jaye, dower, Deborah and myself decided to pop into town quickly and find a pizza place, eat ours and bring some back for the others. After getting to the town, it was all pubs and hardly anywhere what served food. We found one place, so we decided to sit down and eat. We called back to camp to let them know there would be no pizza. However, that message didn’t get to everyone. We had a great meal with a bottle of wine and more vodka. A few pranks were played on us and I got back to find my air bed was let down so i ended up sleeping in the car. Whilst we were out, several alcoholic beverages were drunk and we decided to look for more booze in town. We stopped off at one bar; I ordered 1 large JD and 2 large vodka and orange. The bill was just short of 40 Euros. However, they use really slim glasses and pour doubles as singles, so Deborah and I had our vodka with about a teaspoon full of orange. We then went to another pub that served Guinness and drank even more and i think we got back to the camp site about 2am.
This is when we discovered that there were a few people unhappy with us. We saw that Skeggs has injured himself on the crazy free for all circle and had a large cut on his forehead and Rawr had injured his knee by some lardy bloke crushing him. Off to watch the race for a while and then back to the camp. More drinking around the camp and off to bed at about 0530 after a shower.
Sunday at Le Mans and Rouen
Woke up Sunday feeling like crap, after having 3 hours sleep. Drank several bottles of water to try and clear my head. Had breakie while Jez built the final beer wall. After sitting in the car for a few hours to cool down with the air con, we left the camp site at around 1230 to head up to Rouen for a quiet night and rest. Checked into the hotel and the lightweights went to sleep, so I went out for a drive to try and get the car washed as there was a rumour that someone urinated on it. Found the car wash, super clean and back to the hotel for a swim. We all then headed into town for a few drinks and a pizza. Chris ordered a tasty burger. However, we did try and tell him cheval was horse, but he thought we were winding him up, but he enjoyed his burger and chips. There was a competition between Mark and a few others to climb up the flexible flag poles. Anth managed to get nearly as far as Chris who is about 1/3 his body mass. However, he popped his blister whilst trying. Walshy wasn’t allowed out to play with the flag poles. Overall, it was a quiet night and we were back at the hotel for 0130.
Monday – Rouen to home
Managed to get 9 hours sleep on Sunday night, compared to the 11 hours over the past 4 hours. Went to McD’s for breakfast and then headed up the country towards Calais and stopped of in Abbeville for lunch. Got to the boat on time and then travelled home to Borehamwood. eventually got home just after 7pm after 800 miles of driving.
As my ribs were still hurting and with difficulty breathing after 8 days, I decided to go to hospital to get myself looked at. Went and saw the nurse and she said they don’t x-ray if they can hear me breathing ok. Checked my breathing and I was sent down to x-ray. Got my photo taken and then back up to the nurse and she said go home. She then looked at the x-ray and she said i’ll take back. She then asked another 2 doctors to look at the x-ray and they started talking in code. She then said go home, so i asked her what do i do about the pain and breathing problems. She said to take paracetamol and ibuprofen religiously for a few days. I am now rattling like a pill box when i walk.
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